MOTHERHOOD

All of the lists have been checked, the bags are packed, and the endless Amazon shipments have been opened, although I know nothing can prepare us for what we are in store for. 

Our lives are about to change forever, completely flipped upside down from the world we have come to know. Now lots of people have made it clear to us how much it sucks, the sleepless nights, say goodbye to the good ol' days, yada, yada, yada...

We know. It's rough. We've seen the reality of it through friends. Parenting is the hardest job we will ever attempt. But it took a complete stranger to remind me of what else we were in store for - joy. While waiting at Playa Provisions to meet friends for lunch, he approached me and said: 

"I know everyone is probably telling you how hard it's going to be, but you also need to know how amazing it's going to be. Your life will never be the same, but in the best way possible."

And that is how I've tried to look at this entire crazy ride. When people ask if I'm scared about labor - my answer is no. I trust that my body was made to do this. When people ask if I'm worried about its affects on my career - my answer is no. I know it will only allow me to have more experiences to draw from and open my eyes to entirely new creative outlets. 

And when people ask me if I am ready - my answer is no. I don't think I'll ever be. But I was never 100% ready for any of my major life events - graduation, moving across the country, etc. But that's what makes them great. It's the scariest things we do that turn into the sweetest moments of life. 

A big thank you to the countless people who have been so generous with their gifts and advice these past nine months. While it is still surreal that I have been growing an actual human being inside me, I know that once he or she makes their way into this world they will be surrounded by all of your love as well. 

And now we wait...

Raquel

WORLD

Isis Threat 2.JPG

I swear, I can't even turn on the TV anymore without thinking the world is going to end. There is more doom and gloom with the turn of every channel, and somehow I always get sucked in. 

I'm not sure why I felt so compelled to write this, but the state of our world has really got me worried. Which is exactly what the bad guys want. 

I've always believed that we are all products of our own upbringings and individual experiences, so of course we will have different ideologies and political views. It's a given. But the very things that are supposed to bind us together as a country - democracy, religious freedom, inalienable rights, are the very things that are tearing us apart. 

It is bad enough having to see innocent people slaughtered all over the world in our nightly news, but what is even worse is when you see people who consider each other friends fighting about it on social media the next day. Along with that, Presidential candidates on all sides are pandering for votes so hard that they have all become SNL parodies of themselves. It's gross. Now, all of this extreme divide is causing riffs between friendships and families. Once again, which is exactly what the bad guys want. 

If there is one thing I've learned through My OWN and my close friends experiences this year, it's that even though people may be smiling on the outside, they are fighting a battle you have no clue about on the inside. So when in doubt, always choose kindness

Although we may not be able to change the outcome of these terrible attacks around our world, we can change the way in which we react to them. We can choose to be understanding rather than be divisive, we can choose not to comment and stir the pot, we can choose to still be friends regardless of our differences. 

especially during this holiday season, we can turn off the TV's, put down our phones, and pull out a board game. we can stop focusing on the mess and create some memories instead. lastly, and most importantly, we can always, always choose kindness. 

It's the one tried and true killer of bad guys. 

Raquel

Brides

I'm excited to announce that BRIDES Magazine has asked me to be one of their Los Angeles experts. Nothing is more fulfilling to a writer than an editor liking her stuff, and even better - when they keep asking for more!

My Los Angeles specific content started with a piece on the City's Best Bridal Hairstylists and another article on Everything Brides Must Know When Planning an L.A. Wedding

Thanks as always for reading!

Raquel

 

Purpose

purpose.jpg

The word 'Purpose' has been on my mind as of late, and I have finally come to my conclusion on it... Finding your 'Purpose' is a flaming piece of crap.

Yep, went there. Said it.

Now, I'm not saying we all shouldn't be striving to be better people each and every single day. But I feel like most of us spend our entire lives trying to find out what exactly that is, only to feel like something is wrong with our careers and relationships in the meantime.

In longing to find our 'Purpose,' we are forgetting to be 'Present.' Put down your phones. Take a walk and actually enjoy what's around you. I was awoken this Sunday morning by my dog, who gets sick pleasure in licking my drool soaked pillow when I sit up. And you know what? I smiled.

Maybe it's just as simple as that, waking up every day and just trying to make it a good one, no matter what your circumstances may be.

No alarm sounds. No buzzer rings. Confetti doesn't shoot out when someone's so-called calling is met. So stop being in constant search of something, because you are here. And that is a gift unto itself.

Everything I've experienced so far, I have already dreamt up and lived out in my head. Don't blame things on the universe/fate/bad luck. You create your own universe. You create your own fate. You create your own luck.

And as for today, let's make it a good one.

Raquel

 

Storms

storm.jpg

If there's one thing I've learned from this site so far, it's that everyone has their issues.

behind all of the glossy, cheerful pictures on social media are the real struggles people face day-in and day-out. half of the time i question if Anyone cares what i write. do they even read it? is it all just a bunch of crap?

but after getting feedback on my post on thirty, i know that even if a couple of people were inspired, it is worth it.

we all go through our shit. Trust me. here's to going through the storms together...

Raquel

Thirty

RaquelKelleyCannes

The Big Three-Oh.

I am actually elated to be turning 30, this being a very different feeling than my quarter life crisis at 25.  At 25, Kyle had to comfort his deranged girlfriend on the beach the morning of her birthday who was sobbing uncontrollably because heaven forbid she didn’t have life all figured out. The unknown seemed so daunting, so overwhelming, so scary…  And so it was.

But as I’ve grown, I’ve come to find that if you embrace the unknown, it will embrace you right back. This past year was a freaking rollercoaster (ie. Google Fashion Police). But instead of letting these outside factors get to me, I decided that I was the only one in control of my own happiness. And the only thing I could control was my relationship with myself, a relationship I had been neglecting for far too long.

For us women, if we talked to others the way we talked to ourselves, we’d be labeled as verbally abusive. If I walked up to a stranger and slapped the donut out of her hand and said, “Hey Fatso! You’re pathetic!” I’d be labeled as rude, yet I was saying it to myself day in and day out my entire life. And I was sick of it.

So last August, I did something about it. I started eating better. Cooking. Looking in the mirror and giving myself compliments instead of complaints. And you know what? My body started responding. Again, if you embrace it, it will embrace you right back. Although we put more of an emphasis on our other relationships with co-workers, spouses, and kids, we owe it to ourselves to be happy in the one that matters most.

Now I’m not going to lie, this past year has been pretty brutal, filled with tremendous tragedy and loss both personally and professionally. But pain and discomfort are the only things that can bring growth. So I slowed it down. I started meditating each morning. I became less anxious. I became more present. This year has taught me that I can get by on very little and still feel full, and that hanging on to resentment and doubt is like running life on a treadmill: It gets you nowhere. So while life may have been swirling around me in an utter shit storm, I somehow managed to feel something I haven’t felt in a long time – content.

Some may say it all goes downhill from here, but I refuse to believe that. I only prescribe to a belief in the up and up. So bring it Thirty – you saucy little bitch. Bring on the inevitable questions: When are you having kids? Are you staying in LA? What’s going on with your job? When was your last bowel movement? Have you started taking probiotics? You really should start taking probiotics…

The answer: I have not a clue. And for once, that’s something I’m completely fine with. Because once you start letting go of others expectations and embrace the unknown, that’s when life gets fun.

So cheers to you Thirty. You’ve gotten a bad wrap. You’re not so dirty after all.

Raquel

Europe

Kyle and I headed to the Motherland these past two weeks to celebrate my birthday.

The last time I was in Italy, I was fifteen years old And I went with my entire extended family to visit our grandparents hometown of San Marino. It was like The Griswold's go to Rome. We got on the wrong trains, we got pick pocketed, and we stayed at a convent with nuns. As I write this, I realize I have much material for another screenplay...

This time, now older and wiser, we spent some time in Rome, Cinque Terre, the Amalfi Coast, and Pompei. We then took a cruise to France and Spain, because given my track record, I wasn't banking on my ass to get us there.

We've since made it back in one piece and with all of our belongings. (We are still a bit jet-lagged, so that outcome may change in the coming days. But for now - so far, so good.)

All in all, it was an amazing trip. I was a bottle of wine deep each day which in my book equates to the PUREST FORM OF JOY.

Raquel